I'll be a better X when I've achieved Y

How many times have you thought, "I'll be a better X when I've achieved Y"? Like: "I'll be a better leader when I'm more confident."

Do you recognise this pattern?

This is a problem-solving approach – we perceive a problem ("I'm not a good leader") and identify a fix ("Learn to be more confident"). However, in this approach, I'll continue to treat myself as deficient because I haven't finished implementing the fix.

Then what usually happens? We start doing things to implement the fix – reading books, gaining credentials, going on courses. But as we do all these things, we discover even more that needs to be done – never quite reaching the point of feeling "good enough".

Now, we're stuck in the self-improvement trap – and it all started with a faulty perception of a problem.

What if there was another way?

In my phenomenological approach, I invite a different perspective. What if the perceived problem wasn't really a problem at all? For example, what if you were already a good leader? Starting from this point, we don't need to change or add anything. Instead, we explore what might be covering up the innate ability that is already there.

Through exploring, we gain new appreciation and understanding of ourselves and how we are being in the world right now. Those insights nurture growth that leads to longer-lasting inner transformation.

What might this exploration look like? Rather than asking, "What do I need to fix to become a better, more confident leader?", we might explore questions like:

• What am I believing about leadership that's obscuring my capacity to be confident?
• What do I gain when I'm not being confident?
• When I do feel confident, how do I experience that?

These types of questions invite you to slow down and embrace a deeper and more embodied form of reflection.

The challenge, especially for those with successful careers in organisations, is that we've been valued for our ability to solve problems – making it feel like a valuable skill. What doesn't work so well is when we apply a problem-solving approach to ourselves.

I spent the first 25+ years of my career solving problems while applying this approach to my growth and development. As a result, if you look at my qualifications and accomplishments, you'd think I'd achieved a lot. However, the more you achieve, the more you're driven to achieve the next thing – because it's never quite enough.

There's another way.

The invitation: If you've been stuck in the self-improvement trap – constantly achieving but never feeling you've arrived – I invite you to pause.

Not to stop growing. Not to become complacent. But to recognise: You might already be what you're striving to become. And the path forward isn't about adding more, but uncovering what's already present.

What would change if you approached your development from "already complete" rather than "needs fixing"?