Mini Episode

Episode 116: Mini: Inaction

The Curious Coach Podcast

Episode 116:
Mini: Inaction

Are you deluding yourself about the regular and decisive action that you’re taking when it comes to achieving your dreams and goals?  In fact, might it be the exact opposite where you have inaction?

Listen below or search for The Curious Coach Podcast on Apple podcasts, spotify or wherever else you normally listen to podcasts!

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Transcript

Hi there and welcome to the latest episode of the curious coach podcast. A big focus of this podcast is on reflection and being in the now. However, this week, I want to invite you to look to the future and the dreams and ideas that you might be holding.

As you imagine that future that you might be working towards, are you taking clear decisive action, each day, that will move you closer to your dream? All too often we might have great dreams and visions about the future, and pretend to ourselves that we are making progress towards them, only to get frustrated by the lack of progress.

However, sometimes – if we’re truly honest with ourselves, we’re pretending to be busy taking action, but in reality we’re doing the exact opposite – we’re avoiding taking action but deluding ourselves into thinking that we are.

So that’s my challenge for you this week – reflect honestly on whether you are taking regular action that is moving you closer towards the direction you want to head, or are you really fooling yourself? And actions don’t have to be massive, a series of small, incremental actions that you regularly build upon is better than massive action once in a blue moon.

If you find that you’re not taking the decisive action you thought you were, what’s getting in the way? And reflect upon what resources you might need to help you move forward? Usually there’s things like knowledge, money, time and energy – and a lack of one or more of these might be just one of the reasons that’s stopping you. Play around with this – for instance, if you felt you didn’t have enough time, reflect on what would actions you might take if you did have more time? Can you come up with a list of actions or is something else getting in the way? If you do come up with a list, can you now break these down into more manageable chunks that fit into the time that you do have?

I’d love to say that I’ve mastered this one myself, but thankfully, I’m only human and there are times when I can procrastinate and pretend to myself only to discover my own inaction – so this is a work in progress for me too.

As always, I’d love to hear how you got on, so please feel free to leave me a comment on LinkedIn or drop me an email to [email protected] – thanks for listening and until next time – don’t forget, stay curious.

Episode 115: Mini: Change

The Curious Coach Podcast

Episode 115:
Mini: Change

In this episode, my reflective challenge is about change, and recognising that change is a constant within our lives – whether we recognise it or not. Part of this reflective episode also includes a timeline exercise to help you recognise all the change that you’ve already encountered in your life.

Listen below or search for The Curious Coach Podcast on Apple podcasts, spotify or wherever else you normally listen to podcasts!

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Transcript

HI there and welcome to this week’s edition of The Curious Coach Podcast. This week, I’m reflecting on change. In some ways, change, just like breathing, is a constant in our lives. We, and the world around us, are constantly changing. Today is a different day from yesterday. We’re also different – simply by the fact that the neural pathways in our brains will have changed based on our experiences – new pathways will have been created, some may have broken down, others reinforced or weakened.

However, sometimes we can become blind to change, we might deny it’s existence, we may fight very hard to keep things from changing, rather than embracing it. You might hear people claim, “I’m the same person I’ve always been”. However, without change, we wouldn’t grow, evolve, or learn. We’d become comfortable, complacent and bored. And whilst that might sound appealing for a while, ultimately, it’s not necessarily a good thing.

Take a moment now, to reflect on how you’ve changed over the course of your life. Maybe grab a piece of paper, and draw a line to represent your life. It might be a simple straight line, or it might be a line that curves and flows around the page – you decide – this is your timeline.

Now, mark where you feel you are today on the line. And then start to fill in the major events that have made an impact on your life, between the start of the line and the place you marked for today. Births, deaths, college, jobs, relationships, hobbies, travel and so on – all the things that might have had an impact on you. Then, walk backwards through your timeline, and reflect on how each point has changed you. Maybe you learned a new skill, discovered a passion, discovered a strength, connected with a value or belief. Whatever it is, simply start to notice how you’ve been changed by these events. And these are the major obvious events, I’m sure as you start to reflect more deeply, you’ll find number of other examples that have changed or shaped you in some way or other.

Anyway, having done that, come back to the point where you marked today, and cast your eyes along the rest of the line, where the future hasn’t happened yet. How unlikely is it, that you’re not going to undergo any other changes for the rest of your life? Yet, despite this, we may still find it challenging to recognise that we can and will change. Just as covid changed the world in the blink of an eye, we will change again. The question is, are you ready to embrace change and become an active participant, or are you going to use a lot of energy to fight, deny and resist the inevitability of change?

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, so please feel free to drop me an email to [email protected] or post a comment if watching on LinkedIn. Thanks for listening and until next time, don’t forget, stay curious

Episode 114: Mini: Overworking & Burnout

The Curious Coach Podcast

Episode 114:
Mini: Overwork & Burnout

In this episode I’m looking for your thoughts on how we’re all working harder and harder these days – to the point of overworking and potentially on the path to burnout.  And if you’re travelling that path, what needs to happen for you to take a different path and make a change?

Listen below or search for The Curious Coach Podcast on Apple podcasts, spotify or wherever else you normally listen to podcasts!

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Transcript

Hi there and welcome to latest episode of The Curious Coach Podcast.  This week I’ve been reflecting on overworking and burnout.   There’s a growing body of research to confirm what many people already know – throughout the pandemic, office workers who’ve been able to keep working remotely, have in fact been working longer hours.  And it appears that the working day has become up to 3 hours longer in some cases.

Whilst we’ve saved time by not having to commute, much of this time has been replaced by more work;  where previously, it would have been time to transition from home to work and then back again – a way to decompress, unwind, and so on.  Add to that, the lack of transition from one meeting to another – simple because we no don’t have to physically get up and move office or conference rooms – we simply click a button.

And all of this is inevitable taking a toll on our physical and mental health.  

At the same, many of us are aware that we’re working longer and harder than ever before, yet we’re still choosing to do so – we may not view it as a choice – however, ultimately, it is – for many, it might be an unconscious choice, and yet it’s still a choice. 

And that got me thinking – how long is the pathway between overworking and reaching the point of burnout.  Obviously, once we reach the point of burnout, we can no longer ignore the emotional and physical signs.  So, what might help us to become aware sooner and proactively start to make a change?

Overworking, and ultimately burnout, can impact many areas of our ‘being’ – our physical health can suffer due to not getting enough exercise, or eating and drinking emotionally rather than healthily and our emotional tank simply runs out of fuel and can impact our relationship with ourself as well as others.

So that’s my question for you this week.  If you were walking, or maybe even running, towards burnout, what would it take for you to want to proactively do something about it?  It might be a courageous first step, or maybe a warning sign, as you realise that the path you’re on isn’t sustainable, and it’s probably different for each and everyone of us. 

So, I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this – as I’m still reflecting on this myself.  It’s a chicken and egg situation – when you realise the path you’re on, you can seek help, however, we’re usually blind to that path until something pretty major happens.  So what’s the answer?

Please drop me your thoughts via email to [email protected] or leave me a comment on LinkedIn – and yes, that’s Stephen with a PH!   Thanks for listening, and until next time, stay curious!

 

podcast-113

The Curious Coach Podcast

Episode 113:
Mini: Different types of self-awareness

This week’s challenge is about noticing the different types of self-awareness – embodied and conceptual and see if you can explore the differences.

Listen below or search for The Curious Coach Podcast on Apple podcasts, spotify or wherever else you normally listen to podcasts!

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Transcript

Hi there and welcome to the latest edition of The Curious Coach Podcast.  This week’s podcast is all about self-awareness.   And for anyone familiar with Emotional Intelligence, when we talk about self-awareness we’re talking about emotional self-awareness where you’re aware of your own emotions – noticing them, naming them, and in the process understanding how they drive you.

However, this week I’m exploring more nuances around self-awareness – thanks to the work of Alan Fogel. A professor of psychology at the University of Utah.  He breaks self-awareness  down into two categories – conceptual self-awareness and embodied self-awareness.    Conceptual self-awareness is you thinking about yourself and arriving at conclusions about the emotions and feelings you’re having.

Then there’s embodied self-awareness – this is where you’re tuning into how you’re experiencing yourself in the moment – and this is your whole-self, going well beyond simply thinking about yourself.

Both forms of self-awareness are useful.  If you find yourself starting to explain and justify your emotions, chances are you’re experiencing conceptual self-awareness.  However, embodied self-awareness is a little bit more interesting. 

For example, interlace your fingers and squeeze your hands and fingers tightly together – don’t do it so hard that you hurt yourself, but do it tightly enough that you really notice the feelings in your fingers, finger tips and so on.  Hold this for several seconds until you can really notice all the different sensations that you’re experiencing.  Where are you feeling it, is there a difference between different fingers, or different parts of your fingers and so on.  Be really curious.   Now – let go and immediately notice how the feelings have changed and again, how different parts of both hands may feel different.   This is embodied self-awareness.

Now – without physical bringing your hands together, think about how it felt to have all you fingers interlaced and squeezing tightly.  Can you recreate the feeling you were experiencing a few seconds ago?  Again, think about the different sensations in different parts of your hands, and recreate the feeling again.  This is conceptual self-awareness.  It’s you recreating the feelings you experienced in the past by using your thoughts.

Now, take this a thinking a step further.  Anytime we’re experiencing feelings or emotions based on thoughts of past events, or by anticipating future events, we’re very much in conceptual self-awareness.   And that’s not to dismiss those emotions or feelings, however, it’s also important to recognise that they’re entirely of your own creation.  However, when you tune into your embodied self-awareness and all the sensations you’re experiencing  – such as your breathing, heart rate, temperature, skin contact and so on, you’re also being full present in the moment.    And now, can use all those embodied sensations to describe an emotion or feeling that encapsulates how you’re feeling in this moment? Episode   And staying with it long enough, to notice how those sensations might ebb and flow over time, and along with it, so might the emotion or feeling you’re experiencing. 

In doing this, you’re now truly experiencing yourself in the moment – this can only truly come from embodied self-awareness.

I hope all that makes sense and that’s my challenge for you this week.  Can you spot the different times during the day when you’re experiencing embodied self-awareness versus conceptual self-awareness.  Don’t judge or criticise yourself – just see if you can start to notice when you’re experiencing one or the other – or maybe both – maybe challenge yourself that when you noticed you’re experiencing conceptual self-awareness, to also tune into your embodied self-awareness and see if you can notice any differences.

Thanks for listening and as always, I’d love to hear how you got on – so please feel free to leave me a comment on LinkedIn or drop me an email to [email protected] – thanks for listening and until next time, don’t forget, stay curious!

Episode 112: Mini: Busy not productive

The Curious Coach Podcast

Episode 112:
Mini: Busy Not Productive

Are you being busy rather than productive?  This week, after going down the techie rabbit hole of DNS, DMARC, DKIM, SPF, PTR records and more, I realise that all of this was a distraction from actually doing the work that would add more value to the goals I have for my own coaching practice!   Have a listen and let me know what resonates with you….

Listen below or search for The Curious Coach Podcast on Apple podcasts, spotify or wherever else you normally listen to podcasts!

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Transcript

Hi there and welcome to this week’s edition of The Curious Coach Podcast.  I’m not quite sure how to frame this week’s reflective topic yet, as it feels like a blend of a number of different things.  Essentially, it’s about being busy but not necessarily productive.  Or not really moving forward towards a desired outcome or goal.   And somewhere in there, there’s something about how we put conditions on taking action that are actually a way to hold ourselves back. 

For example, as I continue to build and develop my own coaching practice, an inevitable part of it of this journey, is marketing.  And logically, I get it.  Starting with finding your why, identifying your niche, figuring out the value you bring and all of that stuff.   And yet, I also find myself more focused sometimes on the ‘how’ or the more practical stuff.   

For example, I went down the rabbit hole of figuring out how to use a self-hosted CRM so that I don’t have to share data with third parties unless I absolutely have to.  This is something that I feel very strongly about, so I was able justify the time and investment on those grounds.  Of course, then I needed a way to send emails, in a scalable and affordable way, which involved figuring out how to use something like Amazon SES.  And then, I learned that some of my emails were ending up in people’s junk folder rather than their inbox.  So that lead me to investigate how to setup DKIM, SPF, DMARC and configuring DNS records.  Which then caused me to move DNS hosts to cloudflare as my current DNS host didn’t do everything I wanted it to do.   And on it goes.   All of which was really interesting and totally appealed to the techie part of me.  And yes, I got a load of satisfaction when I got to the point where my emails now all seemed to be arriving in people’s inbox – whether they’re ones I’ve sent directly, or they’ve been generated from my online booking system or CRM system. 

However, in some ways, that was a perfect example of me being busy.  Yes, I achieved a lot, and yes, I’ll now be able to scale and grow my marketing efforts.  However, whilst I’ve been figuring all of that practical stuff out, it’s been at the expense of putting time and effort into the tasks which would add more value to me achieving my goal – all of that other, potentially harder stuff, about figuring out my why, and my niche and starting to build and connect with that tribe.

And I’m sure I’m not alone.  So that’s my question for you to reflect on this week.  Are you being busy rather than productive, when it comes to working on the things that will truly move you forward.  To continue with my own example, I could have spent time working on some new material to send to 10 people, without any challenges, that would allow me to test some ideas and gain feedback, rather than implementing a scalable platform from which I’ve nothing really to send. 

Or, perhaps, you want to get fit, or lose weight, but you can’t start yet.  You have to order some new workout clothes, or some gym equipment, or whatever it is.  All of these things are just a way to keep yourself busy and distracted from actually doing the work that will really make a difference.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you got on – so please drop me an email or leave me a comment.  Of course, now that I’ve gotten all my technology sorted, you can also sign up to my weekly newsletter if you wish!  Simply go to https://stephenclements.ie/newsletter and hopefully you’ll be able to tell if I’ve stopped being busy and started to be productive.  Thanks for listening, and until next time, don’t forget, stay curious!

Episode 111: Mini: Time

The Curious Coach Podcast

Episode 111:
Mini: Time

This week I’m curious about time.  Where do you spend most of your time?  Is it reflecting on future events, past events or in the present moment?  And what is the emotional energy that you’re creating as a result.

Listen below or search for The Curious Coach Podcast on Apple podcasts, spotify or wherever else you normally listen to podcasts!

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Transcript

Hi there and welcome to this latest episode of The Curious Coach podcast.  This week I’m curious about time.  Now, I know we could get all philosophical and meta-physical about time and maybe it’s best to avoid that discussion in this short podcast.

Instead, I find I’m being curious about reflecting on where do you spend most of your time?  Is it reflecting on future events, past events or in the present moment?  For example, maybe something has happened in the past and you find yourself going back to that point, maybe beating yourself up because you realised you messed up and you’re ruminating on what you could have done differently, or maybe going back to a happy moment where you had a great success or really achieved something.

Maybe you’re dreaming about the future instead.  Dreaming about the life might have one day.  Thinking about how happy you’ll be when that new purchase arrives, or when you get that promotion. 

This week’s challenge is all about simply noticing where are you placing most of your attention – is it on the past or on future?  And as you do, be curious about any emotions that you’re noticing as a result.  And is that emotional energy serving you in the here and now?

Time, memories, dreams, past and present – all have a funny correlation.  As human beings, we can’t experience any other time, other than this present moment.  When we relive memories or experiences, or dream about the future, we are subjectively experiencing them in the now. 

What would happen if we brought more of our attention to the here and now.  In some ways, this is what underlies certain aspects of mindfulness.  Rather than letting your mind wander, instead, it’s about bring all your attention to what you’re doing in this moment.  And as you do, realise what is within your control, right now.  In doing so you can influence the emotional energy that you’re creating which can influence how you’re feeling and your own actions and behaviours.

So that’s this week’s challenge – simply become aware of your attention and where you’re choosing to place it – past, present or future.  And see if you can bring it more into the present moment – so that you’re full present and focused.   And What differences do you notice as a result? 

As always, I’d love to hear how you get on so please feel to get in touch at [email protected] or leave a comment under this video if watching on LinkedIn.  Thanks for listening, and until next time, don’t forget – Stay Curious.

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