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Reframing who am I?

Reframing who am I?

Stephen Clements

There might be moments in our lives when we find ourselves asking a very simple but powerful question: “Who am I?”.   Reflecting on this question might cause you to examine who you are at this very moment in time and possibly what’s helped you become this person.  All those life experiences, decisions, mistakes, learnings and successes that have shaped you into the person you are at this moment.  As you reflect, you might see before you a clear plan of where you’re heading next on this journey of life; recognising that who you are today, isn’t who you’ll be in the future, nor the person who you were in the past.

Alternatively, you might realise that you’re stuck whilst being kept really busy standing still. Rather than moving forward you’re spending all your energy juggling an increasing number of balls; fearful of moving anywhere because you might drop a ball or two.  Perhaps you start dreaming of the future and find yourself reframing the question from “Who am I?” to “Who do I want to be?”.  Reframing the question in this way, can feel much more aspirational as it’s looking to the future; your dreams. But it hasn’t affected the reality of now.  Whilst the question has changed, you’re still standing still, juggling those balls, but now dreaming of a future where you’re not juggling.  This might help you feel better about being stuck, but for how long?

However, you could reframe the question again and move from “Who do I want to be?” to “Who am I going to be?”.  Now the question implies motion.  And for motion to happen you need movement.  And for movement, action.  Rather than dreaming about who you want to be, you can now do something about it.  What actions, no matter how small, do you need to start taking to move to towards the person you are going to become?

What comes up for you when you reflect on these simple but powerful questions?  For some, it might be relatively straightforward or easy. For others, this can be quite a challenge as the fear of dropping a ball can be paralysing.   And here’s just one of the areas where coaching can help.  Coaching offers a safe and reflective space so that you can figure out the answers to some of these questions; formulate an action plan; and generate forward momentum.   Once you know the value and importance of who you’re going to be, the steps you need to take in the here and now will become much more clear.  You’ll be able to tap into your own courage; to move forward and become less fearful of dropping a ball.  In fact, you may even choose to set down some balls altogether.

So, what’s your answer to ‘Who am I going to be?’ and what are you doing about moving in that direction?